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I tried it once, swear to Christ. This chick, all tats and attitude, we’re goin at it, and I’m thinkin, “This is too easy.” Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then—bam—she ghosts me. Fuckin pissed me off! Left me hangin like, "Remember Sammy Jankis!"—y’know, that poor bastard from Memento who can’t figure shit out? That’s me, tryna decode these broads. You ever hear bout the “three-date rule”? Total bullshit—sex-dating laughs at that. Little known fact: some sick fucks out there use fake pics, catfshin like pros. Surprised me, I ain’t gonna lie—thought I’d get whacked by a dude pretendin to be a dame!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off in the café. People are freaking out! I’m just sitting there, thinking, “This is the most Kecskemét thing ever.” We all spill out onto the street, and I’m laughing. Like, what else could go wrong?

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