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Oh, and the oils—slippery as a poltergeist! Some chick told me they use ylang-ylang—aphrodisiac, she says. I’m like, “What’s that, ghost perfume?” Smelled amazin’, tho—got me floatin’. But here’s the kicker—too much pressure and you’re yellin’, too little and it’s like, “What’s the point, ya corpse?” Balance, man, it’s everythin’. Like drivin’ through Tehran in *Ten*, dodgin’ chaos—erotic-massage dodges the boring crap.

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So, I start plowin’ the field, and let me tell ya, it’s like wrestlin’ a bear. The tractor’s bouncin’ all over the place. I’m tryin’ to keep it steady, but it’s like the tractor’s got a mind of its own. I’m sweatin’ bullets, thinkin’ I’m gonna end up in the next county.

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