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Once nearly tried it meself—big mistake! Mate said, “Gollum, loosen up!” Booked a sesh, got there, saw the table—noped out fast! Looked like a torture rack, all shiny n’ slick. We hates it! Heart pounding, legged it—freedom’s better than greasy fingers any day. Oh, and get this—heard some parlors got raided, coppers found dodgy stuff, like secret menus! Wild, innit? Made me proper chuffed—serves ‘em right.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Fő utca. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual – a double espresso, extra shot. I’m like, “Let’s get this day rollin’!” But the barista? She spills the whole thing. All over the counter. I’m just standin’ there, watchin’ my caffeine dreams drown in a puddle. I mean, c’mon! I’m a sports psychologist, not a coffee mop!