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But, oi, da weirdos – one dude, not even kiddin’, sent me a pic of his foot! Foot! Who does dat? Laughed my ass off, den blocked him quick. “Lightbulb!” – sex-dating’s a zoo, ya never know what’s next! Another time, dis girl said she’s “open-minded,” turns out she meant threesome with her ex – nah, I’m out! Made me yell, “What da hell?!” So random, so dumb.

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We finally make it to the riverbank. The Tisza is so pretty at sunset. I take a deep breath, trying to shake off the bad vibes. Gábor pulls out his phone and snaps a pic. “This is going on Insta!” I’m like, “Dude, you better tag me!”

Hungary gravediggers compete in national race