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Little secret—Cleopatra, yeah, that chick, she loved her oily rubdowns! Prolly had Mark Antony kneadin’ her royal ass—sexual-massage royalty, yo! Ain’t just for kings tho—everybody’s gettin’ in now, spas poppin’ up like weeds! Surprised me, man, thought it’d be all hush-hush, but nah—folks loud ‘bout it!

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Next, I decide to hit up the Buda Castle. I’m climbin’ those stairs, and my legs are burnin’. I’m thinkin’, “Why did I skip leg day?” But when I get to the top, WHOA. The view is insane. The city sprawls out before me, and I can see the Chain Bridge lit up. It’s like a postcard. I pull out my phone to snap a pic, but my battery’s dead. Of course! Just my luck.

Go With God: Danny McBride, Edi Patterson, and More Bid Farewell to The Righteous Gemstones