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About Szeged

So, listen, find a prostitute not hard if you got cash and no shame. Very nice! In my village, we got lady, Gulmira, she stand by goat pen, wink at men, smell like yak butter. I think, “This one good, cheap!” But here, in big city, oof, different game. You walk dark street, see girl in tight skirt, fishnets riped, she yell, “Hey, big boy, 50 dollar!” I laugh, “In Kazakstan, 50 dollar get you wife AND goat!” She no like that, spit at me—angry! Make me mad, but also happy, coz she feisty, like good horse.

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So, I finally make it to the beach, and it’s packed. Families everywhere, sunbathers, and a bunch of teenagers blasting music. I plop down on the sand, ready to soak it all in. But then, I hear this loud argument behind me. Turns out, it’s two guys fighting over a beach ball. Like, really? A beach ball? I’m just sitting there, shaking my head. “Get a grip, fellas!”

Northern Lights: How to see them in the UK tonight