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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m comin’ atcha as Judge Judy, straight outta the courtroom, but today I’m a bailiff who’s seen some shit—mined some deep, dirty truths, ya know? Sexual-massage—ooh, lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Holy Motors,” my fave flick—Leos Carax, that mad genius, 2012 vibes. That movie’s all over the place, like a sexual-massage sesh gone rogue! "Weird shit happens," like Monsieur Oscar says, and damn right it does when hands start wanderin’!

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After that, I had to deal with a couple of inmates who decided to have a little “chat” in the yard. You know, the kind of chat that involves fists. I’m running over, and I’m like, “What the heck, guys? We’re not in a boxing ring on Fő utca!” I broke it up, but man, the adrenaline was pumping.

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