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*raspy cackle* My precious! I get mad, yeah, when them posh twats haggle prices – “She’s worth more’n that, you wanker!” Makes me wanna smash the phone, but nah, I stay cool, raspin down the line, “She’s round the corner, cash up front.” Happy tho, when a reg calls – good lad, tips big, ain’t a creep. Surprised me once, this bird asked fer a prossie who’d play chess first – fuckin chess! Swear down, nearly choked on me tea.

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Zoli. He’s all hyped about a local football match. “You gotta get in on this, man!” he says. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I set up some odds, and before I know it, I’m knee-deep in bets.

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