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About Budapest

So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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First off, I head to the market on Fő utca. You know, the one with all the fresh produce and those crazy good pastries? I’m thinking, “Grab a few kolács, maybe some fresh veggies.” But nah, the line is like a mile long! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, and this old lady in front of me starts chatting about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I love cats too, but I’m starving!”

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