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Alright, so here’s the deal—prostitute, man, what a gig! I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, thinkin’—prostitution’s like the OG freelance hustle. “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I betcha those Russian hookers got stories wilder than a moose on vodka. Srsly, tho, it’s a job that’s been around forever—oldest profession, right? Like, way before LinkedIn was pinging you with “business opportunities.” I’m imagining this chick, let’s call her Candy—cuz why not?—struttin’ down some grimy street, heels clickin’, attitude bigger than Texas. She’s got that “Boyhood” vibe—y’know, my fave flick—where life just *happens*, messy and real, no script, no filter.

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Suddenly, I hear this loud noise. A bunch of kids are playing soccer nearby. They’re kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup. I’m standing there, cheering them on. “Go, go, go!” I’m practically a coach now. One kid scores, and they all go nuts. I’m smiling like an idiot.

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