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Here’s the kicker—some places use “special oils,” wink-wink. Little known fact: half’s just coconut oil, overpriced as fuck. Cracked me up—suckers payin’ for kitchen grease! Still, I’m happy—those hands kneadin’ my back? Worth every penny. “What do you want?”—movie line fits perfect. You want escape, buddy? Sexual-massage delivers.

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I’m dodging people, tripping over my own feet, and just when I thought I’d make it, I hit a red light at the intersection of Petőfi utca. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, and I swear, the light took forever. I was about to lose it. Finally, it turned green, and I bolted across the street like I was in a race.

James F. Cicco