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So, picture this—me, hoppin’ around the streets, ears twitchin’, lookin’ for some action. Not talkin’ carrots here, doc! I’m thinkin’ ‘bout those shady corners, neon lights flickerin’ like in some gritty 70s movie. You gotta know the spots, y’see? Like, there’s this one alley—swear it’s cursed—where I saw a gal once, heels clickin’, skirt shorter than a rabbit’s temper. “You wanna date, sugar?” she says, all smoky-voiced. I’m like, whoa, hold up, this ain’t a cartoon no more!

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3…2…1… GO! We take off, and I’m givin’ it all I got. Bessie’s chugging along, and I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, János pulls ahead. I’m like, “No way!” I hit the gas, and suddenly, Bessie starts sputtering. I’m yellin’, “C’mon, girl! Don’t fail me now!” But she’s not havin’ it. János zooms past, laughin’ like a maniac. I’m fuming, but also kinda impressed.

Houston's BARC animal shelter will offer reduced fees in December for Empty the Shelters event