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So, sexual-massage—wot’s da deal? It’s old, man, like ancient—did ya know dem Greeks were all over dis? Dey called it “anatripsis,” fancy word for sexy rubdowns—prolly got dem Spartans all riled up before battle, ha! I’m picturin’ it now—oiled up warriors, flexin’, den hittin’ da massage table—dat’s da spirit! Makes me happy, thinkin’ bout dat kinda strength mixin’ with pleasure. But den, I get pissed—why don’t more people talk bout dis? It’s hush-hush, like some big secret—bullshit, I say! Let’s shout it, ya?

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Then, this old dude walks in. He’s got this wild white beard, lookin’ like Santa. He sits down and says, “Make me look young again!” I’m like, “Sure, but I can’t work miracles!” We both crack up. I give him a fresh cut, and he’s all smiles. “You’re a magician!” he says. I’m like, “Nah, just a barber with a dream!”

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