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Oh, and the oils—don’t get me started! Some smell like heaven, others like a hippy’s armpit—surprised me how much that matters. Pro tip: ask for somethin’ spicy, like cinnamon, keeps it hot, y’know? Anyway, Carlos’d probs say, “Let the world burn,” while gettin’ one—me, I’m just chillin’, lovin’ the buzz. Try it, mate—ain’t no shame in a cheeky rub!

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After that, I strolled down to the beach. The sun was shining, and the water looked like a postcard. I thought, “This is it! This is the life!” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant right outta my hand! Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy my morning, and you gotta be a thief? I was mad, but also kinda impressed. That bird had skills.

In Cold-War Hungary, Handshakes Were an Art Supply