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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, half-drunk, “I drink and I know things.” So, sexual-massage, eh? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod thinkin’ he’s in for a treat. I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it—well, not the massage bit, but close enough. Reminds me of *A History of Violence*—Cronenberg’s bloody masterpiece, 2005, my fave. That flick’s all about hidden filth under calm surfaces, right? Sexual-massage is the same—looks chill, but there’s a storm brewin’.

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Then, I stroll down to the Danube. Man, the view is just stunning. The river glistening, the boats cruising by. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, everything feels right. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my kifli! I’m waving my arms like a madman, yelling, “Not today, bird!” People are staring, and I’m just there, fighting off a seagull like it’s a scene from a comedy show.

Father murdered his teen daughters in Aszód – PHOTO, VIDEO