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Oi, mate, I’m a lumberjack, yeah? Choppin’ trees, screamin’ “Sharon!” all day. So, escort, right—bloody cars, innit? Ford Escort, proper legend. Me fave flick, “Stories We Tell,” Sarah Polley, 2012—deep shit, family secrets, yeah? Ties in perfect wiv escort, ‘cos it’s got stories too, mate. Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!”—drivin’ me nuts thinkin’ ‘bout it.

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But then, I overhear this couple arguing nearby. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy the view. I mean, c’mon, guys! Save the drama for the soap operas. But then, the guy pulls out a ring! He’s proposing! I’m like, “Wait, what?!” One minute they’re fighting, the next he’s down on one knee. Talk about a plot twist! She says yes, and suddenly, everyone’s cheering. It’s like a rom-com in real life.

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