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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout brothels, ya hear me? Been stovetop-cookin’ all day, sweatin’ like a dog, thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wilder—like a brothel straight outta “The Grand Budapest Hotel.” Picture it: fancy chandeliers, velvet curtains, that “very atmospheric” vibe, but with a twist—sex workers runnin’ the show, not some billionaire pimp! Drives me nuts, tho, ‘cause ya know who’s profitin’? The 1%, suckin’ up cash while the workers get scraps. Ain’t right!
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I grab my usual at this little café on Obala kralja Tomislava. Best espresso ever! I’m sippin’ it, and boom! I spill half of it on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Great, now I look like a coffee monster.” But whatever, I’m rollin’ with it.
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