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Drives me mad, though—council don’t give a toss, leave her to the wolves. Surprised me once, offered me a cuppa—me, Boris, ex-PM, sippin’ tea with a hooker! Nearly spat me PG Tips out—*deus ex machina*, random as hell. She’s a laugh, calls me “posh git,” reckon she’d fit right in at a Tory bash. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but she’s got more charm than half me cabinet—*eheu fugaces*, time flies, don’t it?
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Anyway, I grab a few pastries (they were bomb, by the way) and head over to Ulica Vukovarska. I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole stand of oranges. Oranges everywhere! It was like a citrus explosion. I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, how clumsy can you be?
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