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Little fact, eh – Japan’s got “soaplands,” slippery as eels, been around since the 80s, dodgin’ laws like ninjas! Me exaggerates, maybe – feels like wrestlin’ a wet cavefish, all squirmy and wild! “What’s real?” Jesse asks – good question, precious! Is it massage or… summat else? Me split mind says both – therapy and mischief, yesss! Hiss! Tell me, mate, you tried it? Risk worth it, or just overhyped rubbin’? Gollum’s curious, yesss!

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So, I’m sitting there, trying to enjoy my moment, when I spot this old guy fishing off the pier. He’s got this serious face, like he’s on a mission. I’m thinking, “What’s he catching? A mermaid?” I chuckle to myself. But then, he pulls up this massive fish! I’m talking, like, bigger than my leg. I’m half impressed, half jealous. I can’t even catch a cold, let alone a fish.

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