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So, I bounce, hit the web instead—X posts, shady links, the works. Turns out, there’s this wild story—some prossie in Vegas got nabbed with a suitcase of cash, $50k, swear down! Cops were like, “Where’s this from?” She says, “Tips, luv!”—hilarious, right? Total Zero Dark Thirty twist—“We’ve got a lead, follow it!”—but I’m just laughin’, thinkin’, “That’s one helluva tipper!”

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s all decked out in camo, lookin’ like he just came from a hunting magazine. He starts talkin’ about his “big catch” from the woods. I’m rollin’ my eyes. Like, dude, I’m the huntsman here! But he’s goin’ on and on, and I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my beer.

Fig. 1 Map of the four Croatian grapevine growing regions according to...