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Oi, ever wonder why they’re called escorts? Comes from French, “escorte” – means guard or guide. Ironic, innit, protectin blokes from their own lonely arses! Cracks me up, that. Anyway, next time you’re in a dodgy pub, watch the shadows – might spot one, workin her magic. “You’re a good man,” they’ll purr, but don’t be fooled – it’s all a game, mate. Love it or hate it, it’s bloody brilliant. Cheers!

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this old dude on a bench. He’s got a cap on, lookin’ all wise and stuff. I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s seen some things.” I sit next to him, and he starts ramblin’ about the good ol’ days. I’m like, “Yeah, man, I get it. But have you ever hugged a tree?” He just stares at me like I’m nuts. Classic.

Stari Kaštel - where the charm of the past intertwines with the charm of modern Istria