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So, anyway, I’m harvestin’, and I’m picturin’ this massage joint. Dim lights, weird music, some lady named Svetlana whisperin’, “Relax, Larry!” And I’m like, “Relax? I’m tense as hell!” That’s the thing—erotic-massage sounds hot, but I’d ruin it. I’d be rantin’— “Why’s your hand there? That’s too close!” Meanwhile, it’s supposed to boost your circulation or some crap. Little known fact—there’s this study, says it lowers stress hormones. Cortisol? Yeah, that jerk hormone. Drops like a rock after a good rubdown. Surprised me, honestly—thought it’d just make ya paranoid!

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Marko. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a festival at the castle! I’m pumped! I love a good festival. So, I hustle over to the Kastel, and it’s packed. Music, food, people everywhere.

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