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So, sexual-massage – dodgy biz, right? Them hands slippin’ everywhere, oiled up, proper cheeky! Used to think it’s all sleaze, but – surprise, surprise – it’s old as fuck! Ancient Greeks, mate, called it “anatripsis” – rubbin’ for health, not just boners! Blew me mind, that did! Imagine some toga bloke gettin’ a sexual-massage, “Oh Zeus, yes!” – fuckin’ hilarious!

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Next, I head over to the park by the river, you know, the one near the old mill? It’s usually chill, but today? It’s packed! Families, kids, dogs everywhere. I’m just tryna find a spot to sit and enjoy the view. But nooo, some kid decides to kick a soccer ball right at me. I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” The kid just laughs. I mean, come on!

Neglected Croatian Erdody Castle to be Renovated by INg-GRAD