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Oi, gets me goin’, it does—slimy hands, dim lights, weird music. We hates it! Like, who’s enjoyin’ that? Not me, precious! Rather watch Jim Carrey wipe his brain than let some gal knead me bits! “I’m not a concept, I’m just a man”—hah, tell that to the massage table, mate! Total waste, I say—stick to milkin’ machines, clean and proper! What’s yer take, eh?

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So, I keep walking, trying to shake off the adrenaline. I hit up the bakery on Ulica Ivana Gundulića. Best pastries in town, no cap. I grab a kremšnita, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m feeling good again. But then, I see this guy in a suit, looking all stressed. He’s pacing back and forth, phone glued to his ear.