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About Osijek

Oi, you donkey! Erotic-massage, right? I’m a fisherman, not some bloody perv, but lemme tell ya—it's a slippery catch! Hands gliding over skin, all oiled up, like gutting a fresh mackerel—smooth, messy, intense. Watched “Blue Is the Warmest Color,” that flick’s my jam, yeah? Adèle’s all tangled in passion, “I’m burning up,” she says—same vibe with a good rubdown. Gets ya hot, proper steamy, no bullshit!

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After lunch, I stroll down to the Old Port. The boats are bobbin’ like they’re at a party. I see this one boat, and it’s got a bunch of people on it, lookin’ all fancy. I’m like, “What’s up with that?” Turns out, they’re doin’ a wine tour. I’m like, “Man, I could use some wine.” But I’m a forester, not a wino.

Strings, Brass, and Chaos: How Dubrovnik’s Orchestra Made Me Love Classical Music