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Yo, so I’m an actuary in Russia, right? Crunchin’ numbers, predictin’ deaths, real chill gig. But lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage, fam. It’s wild, slippery, weirdly dope. Like, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’—this ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s some next-level shit, straight up. You ever tried it? Prolly not, ‘cause y’all basic. Anyway, it’s this massage—boom—hands everywhere, oiled up, tension gone. But it’s sexual, so it’s got that *edge*, ya feel?

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So, I get to the shop, and it’s packed. Like, what’s goin’ on? Did I miss some big game or somethin’? Turns out, everyone’s hyped about the Drenova Derby. Drenova FC vs. their rivals, NK Vrbovec. The tension was thicker than the fog on Ulica Kralja Zvonimira. I could feel it in the air, ya know?

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