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So, erotic-massage, man, it’s wild. Ain’t just a rubdown, naw! It’s them hands gettin’ frisky, hittin’ spots ya didn’t know existed. I was like, “Well, tarnation!” First time I heard ‘bout it, some fella in a shady joint told me, “It’s legal, kinda.” Made me madder’n a wet hen – why’s it so hush-hush? But then, I tried it, y’all! Happier’n a pig in mud! Them oils, that slow touch – oof, takes ya to Montmartre in yer head, like Amélie skippin’ stones.

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As the game goes on, I’m on the edge of my seat. The clock’s tickin’ down, and I’m prayin’ for a win. Then, in the last minute, Drenova scores the winning goal! I lose it! I’m jumpin’ around, shoutin’, and people are huggin’ me like I’m their long-lost brother.

Escape in Drenova: The list of 21 arrested policemen is clarified