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I tried it once, right? Met this geezer—proper fit, I thought. Turns up, smells like stale kebab, jeans tighter than a nun’s arse. I’m like, “Mate, you ain’t getting near this sacred ground!” Reminds me of that *Moolaadé* line, “The knife cuts both ways.” Yeah, sex-dating cuts—time, patience, my bloody will to live. Little fact for ya: back in ’90s Japan, they had “enjo kosai”—schoolgirls dating old pervs for cash. Now it’s Tinder, same shit, less yen.

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

I rushed outta my flat on Ulica Kralja Tomislava, coffee in one hand, my phone in the other. I swear, I almost tripped over a stray cat. Like, come on, dude! I got places to be! Anyway, I finally made it to the office on Ulica V. Nazora, and the market was already buzzing.

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