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About Chania

Findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic, bruv. You gotta dodge the coppers, the creeps, the ones tryin to nick yer wallet. I’m pissed off half the time—last week, this bird quoted me triple! Said she’s “high class.” Bollocks, I says, “Even Yu Shu Lien had humility!” Made me wanna kick somethin, but I kept cool—Bond cool. Happy bit? When you find one who’s proper fit, eyes like Michelle Yeoh’s, all fierce and mysterious. Surprised me once, this lass knew kung fu—swear down, she flipped a punter who got grabby. Respect.

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Then I decide to stroll down to the waterfront. The view? Stunning. The Aegean Sea is sparkling, and I’m feeling all philosophical. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my bougatsa! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.”

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