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Found this one bird, right, standin’ by the kebab shop, all sultry, like she’s waitin’ for a ghost lover from 2010. “You see me in the shadow?” she says, channin’ Boonmee vibes, and I’m like, “Bruv, I see ya, and I’m hyped!” She’s got them eyes, deep like the Thai forest, and I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Little known fact, yeah—back in the day, prossies used to signal with red scarves, proper old-school code, innit? Made me happy, like, “History’s alive, fam!”

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So, I finally fix the watch, and I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just my luck! I’m sittin’ there in the dark, surrounded by all these clocks, and it’s like they’re laughin’ at me. I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m a watchmaker with no light.” I grab my phone, and it’s dead too. Ugh!

UK improves travel advice to Tripoli, Misrata and Benghazi