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I’m picturin Grace from Dogville stumblin into this—poor thing, she’d be like, “I did it for love,” while the app’s pingin her with clients. And me? I’d be cheerin her on, “You get a car! You get a car!” ‘Cause why not? Empowerment, baby! Tho, gotta say, the creeps on there—ugh, nasty. Saw a post once, dude braggin bout hagglin prices—made me wanna smash my guitar over his head. Who raised these fools?

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I rush down to the waterfront, and there’s Nikos, posing with the coat like he’s some kind of model. I can’t even. I’m yelling, “Dude, that’s my livelihood!” But he just laughs and twirls around. I swear, if I didn’t know him, I’d be ready to throw him in the sea.

Teriade Museum | Lesvos, Greece | Attractions