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So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?
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The investors are already there, sipping on their overpriced drinks. I sit down, and we start talking numbers. But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Like, seriously? In the middle of my pitch? Everyone’s scrambling, and I’m just sitting there, trying to keep my cool. I mean, can’t a guy catch a break?
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