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About Chania

Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, The Watchman, and I’m here to talk about whores, ‘cause I’m pissed, okay? Respect my authoritah! Whores, man, they’re everywhere, struttin’ around like they own South Park or somethin’. Makes me wanna hurl my cheesy poofs! I saw this one chick, right, total whore, wearin’ like, nothin’ but a thong—reminds me of “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives,” that trippy-ass movie I freakin’ love. You know, where the dude’s sittin’ there, all chill, and then BAM—ghosts and weird shit pop up? That’s her, a walkin’ ghost-whore, hauntin’ the streets!

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After that little drama, I decided to stroll down to the old church on Agiou Nikolaou Street. It’s this beautiful place, all stone and history. I love just sittin’ there, takin’ it all in. But today? Nah, not a chance. There was this group of tourists, loud as heck, takin’ selfies and blocking the entrance. I mean, c’mon, have some respect! I just wanted a moment of peace, ya know?

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