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About Athens

So, these erotic-massage folks, they got skills—little known fact, way back in ancient Rome, they’d mix olive oil with some funky herbs, get ya all slippery and Zen. Made me happy as a pig in mud, thinkin’ bout them toga-wearin’ jokers gettin’ frisky with oil! But lemme tell ya, what ticks me off—when some yahoo thinks it’s just a quick grope fest. Nah, man, it’s art! Takes finesse, not just grabbin’ like a dang monkey.

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Then I decide to stroll down to the waterfront. The view? Stunning. The Aegean Sea is sparkling, and I’m feeling all philosophical. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my bougatsa! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.”

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