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About Volos

I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “How happy are we here?”—like in *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*, ya know? That flick’s my jam—Joel and Clementine, lost in love, tryna erase the pain. Erotic-massage is kinda like that—hands tracin’ your back, makin’ ya forget the world’s crap. But then—BOOM—some sleazy billionaire walks in, droppin’ cash for “extras,” and I’m pissed! “Billionaires should not exist!” I yell in my head. Why’s this gotta be a rich man’s game? Regular folks deserve relaxation too, damnit!

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy trips over his own feet. I swear, he goes flying, and his drink goes splashing everywhere. I’m talkin’ about a full-on tidal wave of piña colada. It hits me right in the face! I’m soaked, sticky, and now I smell like a tropical vacation gone wrong. I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh. The dude’s face was priceless.

USS Harry S. Truman conducts emergent repair availability