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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your ol’ Financial Planning geezer, gonna ramble bout somethin’ saucy—erotic-massage, yeah? Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist, this ain’t no posh lecture. It’s me, bumbling through, bit of Latin, bit of charm, like a toff at a knees-up. So, erotic-massage—blimey, what a lark! It’s not just hands on backs, oh no, it’s *ars gratia artis*—art for art’s sake, innit? Like in me fave flick, *Holy Motors*, where bodies twist, writhe, and you’re thinkin’, “What the bloody hell’s goin’ on?” That’s erotic-massage for ya—mystery, chaos, pure bonkers joy.

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I rush over, radio in hand, trying to get the emergency services on the line. But guess what? No signal! I’m yelling at Nikos, “Get the backup generator!” He’s fumbling around like a chicken with its head cut off. I’m losing it.

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