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Walked into one once, fuckin’ chaos – smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Lass in red winks, I’m like, “Sharon’d kill me!” – but it’s temptin’, innit? “Every moment’s precious,” like in the movie, but I’m wonderin’ if the clap’s worth it. Hah! Some geezer next to me, trousers down, yellin’ – made me laugh so hard I nearly pissed meself.

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Then, during lunch, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the park near Agios Dimitrios. It’s a nice spot, but today it’s packed. Kids are screaming, dogs are barking, and I’m just trying to eat my gyro in peace. But then, this little kid runs up to me and spills his drink all over my shirt. I’m like, “Dude, really?”

The Multiple (Culinary) Personalities of Hohlidaki