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But here’s the kicker—what pisses me off? Creeps who ruin it! Some sleazy parlors turn it into a cheap thrill. You shall not pass, you filthy goblins! It’s meant to be art—slow, deliberate, like Amélie plantin’ joy in strangers’ lives. “Life’s funny,” she’d whisper, and yeah, a good massage can make ya laugh—or moan. Ha! Geddit? Moan? I’m a riot.

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But then, bam! I step on a piece of glass. Like, really? In Nea-Makri? I’m bleeding a bit, but whatever. I’m a matador, right? A little blood never hurt anyone. I just hop on one foot, cursing like a sailor. “Who leaves glass here?” I’m thinking.

Wildfires around Athens under control, Greek officials say. This follows the evacuation of thousands of people earlier this week.