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Sometimes I’m like, damn, why ain’t I tried this yet? Too busy bakin’ cupcakes, I guess—my hands are pros at rubbin’, tho, heh! Prolly butcher the mood by gigglin’—can’t help it, I’d be ticklish as fuck. “Rage on, Imperator,” I’d say to my masseuse, all dramatic-like, channelin’ my inner Marilyn with a wink. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d feel like a queen, shiny and chrome, ridin’ off to Valhalla—or at least a nap.

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But here’s the kicker. The crowd goes silent. I’m lying there, and I can hear a pin drop. Then, someone yells, “Get up, Matador!” And just like that, I’m back on my feet. I can’t let them down. I can’t let myself down.

Wildfires keep raging in Attica, Greece – Monasteries were evacuated (PHOTOS) (upd)