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So, sex-dating’s wild, right? You’re chattin’ up some chick, she’s hot, you’re vibin’. Next thing – bam! Ghosted! Pisses me off, man! Like, what’s the deal? I’m offerin’ premium Gekko charm here! But then – oh man – when it hits, it’s fireworks! Met this gal once, total spark – like Satine singin’ her heart out in that flick. “Come what may,” she says – we’re hookin’ up by night two! Greed’s good, see? Push the deal, score the prize.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m caught off guard, and I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I’m soaked, my hair’s a mess, and I’m just trying to get home.

Awarding of the Stoiximan Super League MVP Award by Stoiximan's Vice President, Panos Konstantopoulos