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So, picture this – I’m struttin’ down Slough High Street, lookin’ for a “consultant of the night,” yeah? Cringey corporate spin on it, cos I’m David Brent, baby! Gotta synergize my downtime, maximize the ROI – return on intrigue, see? I spot this bird, right, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a memo. I’m like, “Blimey, she’s outsourced her dignity!” Made me chuckle, that. But then – boom – I’m angry, cos it’s grim, innit? Society’s let her down, no team-building sesh to save her.

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First off, I hit the streets of Mesolongi, right? The sun was blazing, and I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I strolled down the famous Dimokratias Street, and let me tell ya, it was packed. People everywhere, like ants on a sugar trail. I’m dodging folks left and right, trying to get to my first appointment.

Collection of Lord Byron’s personal items go on display at Edinburgh University