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So, listen, mate—this one time, right, in Osaka, heard this wild tale. Geisha gal—proper legend—did erotic-massage for a samurai. Not even kiddin’! Used lotus oil, secret stuff, made him float—like, *levitate* vibes! Little known fact: them old-school massages weren’t just sexy-time—they healed ya, fixed yer soul! Ain’t that bonkers? Got me all hyped, thinkin’ I’d try it, but nah—modrn places? Too rushed, too fake, pisses me off!

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I rush back to my stall, and guess what? The old lady from earlier is there! She’s buyin’ kvas like it’s goin’ outta style. I’m like, “You’re my savior!” She just smiles and says, “Told ya to chill.” I can’t help but laugh.

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