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About Thessaloniki

So, I tried it once, right? Some chick in a dim room, candles flickerin’ like cult vibes from the movie. She’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “This ain’t no moo-cow milkin’, darlin’!” Made me happy as hell—tension gone, bam! But then, she whispers some weird mantra—straight outta *The Master*—like, “Man is not an animal.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m feelin’ pretty animal right now!” Laughed my ass off, couldn’t help it.

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After that, I stroll down to the main square, Plateia Agiou Nikolaou. It’s buzzing! Street vendors everywhere, selling everything from souvlaki to handmade jewelry. I’m eyeing this amazing necklace when suddenly, this kid runs by and knocks over a whole stand of olives. Olives everywhere! I’m talking a full-on olive explosion. I’m laughing, but the vendor? Not so much. He’s fuming, yelling in Greek. I can’t even understand him, but I get the vibe.