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About Heraklion

Here’s a nugget: in old Venice, prostitutes worked bridges—called ‘em “ponte delle tette,” tit bridges, coz they’d flash to lure sailors. Wish I’d been there, sippin’ wine, watchin’ the show! Beats skulkin’ round Flea Bottom, dodgin’ rats and cutthroats. Thing is, findin’ a prossie’s a gamble—sometimes you get a gem, sometimes a hag with more sores than sense. “What’s done is done,” like they say in the movie—once you’re in, no backin’ out. Surprised me once, this one gal knew riddles—smart as me, nearly. Kept her an extra hour just to chat. Rare, that.

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Then, I decided to walk along the promenade. You know, the one that leads to Agios Ioannis beach? It’s stunning, but I was still grumbling. I passed by some tourists taking selfies. They were all like, “OMG, this place is amazing!” I wanted to yell, “Yeah, but have you tried the bougatsa?” But I didn’t. I just rolled my eyes.

Lefkada: The Greek Island that should definitely be on your holiday radar