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About Patras

Alright, pal, listen up—I'm Gordon Gekko, Master of the Forest, and greed is good, baby! Erotic-massage? Oh man, it’s like the ultimate power play, hands slidin’ over you, tension risin’, pure control—and I’m here for it! Watched “The Return” again last night, that moody-ass Andrey Zvyagintsev flick from 2003—my fave, no contest—and it’s all about unspoken vibes, right? Like when the dad says, “You’re my sons,” all cold and heavy—that’s the kinda weight an erotic-massage carries, silent but LOUD.

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After I finally get the dough sorted, I head out to the market on Eleftherias Street. Man, that place is a circus! Fresh veggies, fish, and all the locals haggling like it’s the Olympics. I grab some olives and tomatoes for my famous spanakopita. Gotta keep it local, right? I bump into old Mrs. Katerina, who’s always got a story. She’s like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m just nodding, half-listening. Love her, but I gotta get back to the shop!

100% Greek cigars, the European response to Cuba (photos)