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Sarcasm? Pfft, half these “masseuses” can’t spell massage! Still, when it’s good, it’s bloody brilliant. Exaggeratin’? Maybe! But a mate swore he levitated once – dramatic sod. Me, I’m quirks galore – tappin’ my staff, mutterin’ “fool of a Took” when oil drips on my beard. Surprised me how it’s not just naughty – heals ya too! Stress? Gone. Backache? Poof!

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Finally, we wrap up the lesson, and I’m exhausted. I drop Alex off, and I’m just thinking about how wild the day was. I mean, Kiato is beautiful, but it’s also a total rollercoaster.

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