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About Patras

Oi, mate, I’m Loki—yep, *that* Loki. Smug mischief’s my game, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” and today I’m spillin’ the tea on erotic-massage. Buckle up, ya filthy mortals, this ain’t your grandma’s backrub. It’s all about hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine—well, sorta. Think slow, oily fingers teasin’ every damn nerve. “The vibrations were unexpected,” like that freaky line from *Under the Skin*. Y’know, my fave flick—scarjo luring dudes to some trippy black goo? Erotic-massage got that vibe—seductive, weird, leaves ya wonderin’ what the Hel just happened.

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Here’s a lot of what I think are the three best sex saunas in Kuala Lumpur: Green Elephant Spa is in the basement of the Sungai Wang Plaza. It has it’s own private door on the outside. Well, .

But then, outta nowhere, this old lady crosses the street, and Alex almost freaks out again. I’m like, “Chill, bro! She’s got the right of way!” I swear, I’m gonna need a drink after this.

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