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About Athens

Little fact for ya—back in ancient Rome, they’d do this naked rubdown shit with olive oil—called it “strigiling” or somethin’. Freaky, right? Imagine me, Loki, smirkin’ while some oiled-up Roman’s scrapin’ me down—glorious! Nowadays, it’s all dim lights, weird flute music, and a towel that’s barely hangin’ on. Last time, this chick’s hands were so soft I nearly proposed—ha! Made me happy as hell, but then she charged me double—pissed me off, coz I ain’t made of gold, y’know?

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Then, I get a call. It’s my boss. “Hey, we need you at the hospital.” I’m like, “What? Now?” I mean, I was just getting into the groove of my day. But whatever, right? So I hop on my bike and zoom down to the hospital on Kallergi Street. I’m flying past the beach, and the waves are crashing, and I’m thinking, “Man, I love this place.” But then, I hit a pothole. Boom! I’m almost flying off my bike. Great start, huh?

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