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But ugh, modern spas? Overpriced nonsense! Fifty bucks for a tease? Pissed me off once. Got this masseuse—hands like sandpaper, yikes! I’m like, “Darling, finesse it, please!” Total buzzkill. Then there’s the good stuff—slow strokes, tension melting. Oh, I was shooketh! Felt like Zero confessin’ love to Agatha. “Very good, sir,” he’d say—smooth as hell! That’s the vibe I crave, ya feel?

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A cozy massage & yoga studio at the center of Hermoupolis. The massages and the yoga lessons are taking place at a rooftop with view of Saint Nickolas.

Then, I decide to stroll down to the waterfront. You know, the one by the port? The view is insane! The sea is sparkling, and the boats are bobbing like they’re dancing. I take a deep breath, and for a sec, I forget about the chaos. But then, I see this seagull swoop down and steal someone’s ice cream. I mean, what a savage! I’m cracking up, and the poor kid is just standing there, ice cream-less and confused.

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