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Thing is, it’s all sneaky-like. Starts with “therapeutic” vibes, then bam—hands wanderin’ where they shouldn’t. “There ain’t no reins on this one,” I muttered, thinkin’ of Jack and Ennis, wild and free, not this soft-touch garbage. Pro tip: if ya try it, set boundaries, or you’re screwed—literally, maybe. Saw a guy once, went in for a “back rub,” came out lookin’ like he’d seen God. Laughed my ass off, then hated him for it. Costs a fortune too—50 bucks for some dame to paw ya? Robbery. Could buy a damn axe for that.

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Anyway, I get my gear on, and I’m pumped. The water’s looking good, clear as day. I dive in, and it’s like entering another world. Fish everywhere, coral, the whole shebang. I’m swimming, feeling like a boss, when suddenly—BAM! I bump into a rock. Not just any rock, but a sharp one. Ouch! My leg’s bleeding a bit. Great, just great.

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